Sunday, November 8, 2015

What to Do When You Have Crazy Intense Anxiety But Have to Act Like a Normal

Remind yourself that whoever you are talking to also had to get up this morning and put on pants. Or a dress. Or a skirt. Or, shit, chaps, I don't know who you're talking to. But before they did that, they probably had to go to the bathroom. Unless they are one of those people who never poops. Those people make me nervous and I don't trust them and neither should you.

Someday, when I become rich and famous, or just older but still, and someone asks, "how do you cope with interacting with people when you are anxious?" I will say, "I just remind myself that everyone poops. And nothing is more human and normalizing than pooping." Like, really. This super smart, super respected person also had to sit on a toilet and do what a body does. They are no different than me.

It might sound dumb, or at least not entirely sanitary, but it works.

(I'd like to be SUPER CLEAR that I don't picture anyone pooping. That feels like an important point I need to make right now.)

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